- Forgive yourself/ whoever else is involved.
In many cases, the thing that consumes people the most is bitterness, and let me tell ya living a bitter life is not a life you want to live.A lot of the time this bitterness is a result of someone being upset with themselves and they are bitter about how they handled a certain situation. "How could I be so dumb?" "I can't believe I did that." "I'm never going to forgive myself." Ever thought any of these thoughts? Most of us have, and that's completley normal.Newsflash people, we aren't perfect and can't expect ourselves to be. We can't just become bitter and angry at ourselves every time we mess up. Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm not saying don't learn or occasionally get disappointed at yourself, but rather don't beat yourself up over it. You have to learn to forgive yourself and don't dwell on whatever you are stressing about. Think of what you can learn and get out of the situation to better yourself, rather than the negative side to it.
On the other hand, a lot of people are bitter towards others..usually a specific person. Maybe this person hurt you and you can't quite grasp why they would do such a thing. Sometimes, what hurts the most is when the person that hurt you doesn't even understand how bad they hurt you. Many times, this person won't even apologize. How could you not be angry and bitter towards someone who did such a thing to you and won't even own up to being wrong? Believe me, friends. I KNOW IT IS HARD and if I'm being honest, I have recently struggled with a situation similar to this as well. I do know that the freedom you will get from forgiving this person and just letting go of that grudge will be the biggest relief.You are so much stronger than you think and you can let go. You are not supposed to be consumed or tied down with the ever present thoughts of this hurt. The first step of moving forward is forgiving yourself and the situation. It can be so difficult to forgive someone who you don't think deserves it but if you think about it, that's exactly what Jesus did for you and the person who you feel like you can't forgive. So why would I think I am too good to forgive someone Jesus forgave a long time ago? All I'm saying is that no one is too bad for forgiveness, and no one is too good to forgive. Once you do forgive, you are that much closer to letting go of this nasty thing that has a hold on your heart.
2. Let each situation be what is is, not what you think it should be.
Okay, so I'm not the only one who tends to only remember the good things and pretend the bad never existed, am I? This is actually not a great idea,but is so tough not to do. We naturally don't want to remember the harm or the bad things, so we pretend they never happened. What keeps us holding on to the same thing for so long is the fact that we can't seem to let go of the good memories or benefits the situation or person gave to us. This is so unhealthy. Don't get me wrong, in no way am I saying to forget the good and only focus on the bad...but you do have to accept the bad and the harm it caused you. Letting go of something is so difficult when it seems you are letting go of something that once brought you so much happiness. In order to truly move on, you need to realize the reasons it didn't work/ how it hurt you. It is important to remember these things so that you don't fall back into the same trap and get hurt all again..this could cause it to become a neverending cycle of pain. Basically the bottom line is to understand how that situation hurt you so that you can grow from it and be more cautious and maybe guard your heart more in the future.
3. Don't let something that's long gone control you!
That ex is an ex for a reason. It just wasn't meant to be, and that's all there is to it! Don't dwell in sadness and beat yourself up wondering why. There's better ahead. There is a reason that friend that isn't acting like much of a friend to you anymore. Not in all cases, but a lot of the time this is because they have played their role in your life. Jesus puts people in our lives for a reason and sometimes they aren't meant to stay in it forever. Don't feel like you are giving up on anyone, you are simply finding freedom and letting go of all the negativity that friendship brings to you, it is no longer healthy. The "old you" is long gone. You don't have to get drunk every weekend to have a good time. Weed doesn't have to have to be the only escape. You are made new and Jesus doesn't want any of those things to have a hold on you. The old you is in the past, don't let it control you! You are forgiven and don't have to be controlled or feel guilty about things you did in the past.
The point of this blog was to fill you with hope and encourage you to let go of the anything weighing you down. Life isn't meant to be spent wallowing in sad memories nor is it meant to be controlled by some substance or negative thought. You have such a huge purpose in this life and trust me, it is not to be constantly overwhelmed and worrying about something from your past. Walking away from the pain and heartbreak is in your hands, and it is completely possible..you just have to make that decision to do so. Make the decision to be happy and to move forward. Nothing from your past defines you or has the strength to chain you down. Simply letting go can be the boldest and most beneficial thing you could ever do for yourself. You've got this, friend.
-Kay
